Rays of sunshine charity :)

I dunno if anyone reads this but hey ho! Here's another update from yours truly me :)

Good and bad news, first the bad news. My lungs are playing up again, nothing seems to be going in the right direction at the moment. I'm still on steriods yet it's really not helping, my peak flow is down from 500 to just 250 and below. I've had 3 nebulisers in the past 2 hours, not healthy or normal but I'm living, just trying to put off a hospital visit for as long as I can. I've only been out since friday and quite frankly I do not wish to go back in there anytime soon, but the reality of everything is it's inevitable so I'm just trying to make the most of what time I have out of hospital and not take life foregranted. Brittle asthma is what they say I have...type 2, not that it makes much difference it is what it is, a severe and uncontrolable form of asthma. I hate to say it but I'm scared...I'm even more scared of dying than before. I'm scared I'll never get to do everything I want to. I feel like I've set myself up to fail with university and everything, I know in my heart I won't get those 4 exam results I need this year because I've been too sick. I went to the doctors today because I thought I had a throat infection as I have little of a voice. She looked but couldn't find infection, took a throat swab and told me if there was little or no improvement to phone back on friday to arrange an appointment where she will phone the ent's and get me an appointment to have a larengescope. It's a camera down your throat. I've looked it up on wikipedia and I can say I am in the horrors and have stated I want sedated for it.

The good news now, just so it's not all negative. My mum has applied to the rays of sunshine charity for me. It's a charity which grants wishes to children aged 3-18 who are living with life-threatning or life-limiting conditions. She's applied because she thinks I deserve happiness from the hospital. You had to choose 3 wishes that you would most like to come true, the ones I did choose were: 1- to meet j.k and maybe some harry potter cast members or go to the harry potter experience in London. 2- To go to where casualty is filmed and maybe meet some cast members and 3- to go to where grey's anatomy was filmed and maybe meet some cast members. We are unsure if I qualify but it's worth a try. :) I will keep you guys updated but for now I'm good

Love and peace
Nicole